“Don’t surrender your loneliness so quickly. Let it cut you more deep. Let it ferment and season you as few humans and even divine ingredients can. Something missing in my heart tonight has made my eyes so soft, my voice so tender, my need for God absolutely clear.”Hafiz
A Trip to Mary’s Place by The Sea Mom’s first visit took place a few weeks ago – I had been asking her to join me there since I first heard of the beautiful work they do about 2 years ago. We approach the front door, this beautiful home on a perfect summer day. The sign by the door brings tears to my eyes “Happy is the home that shelters a friend”. I have been needing shelter. This illness of my Mom’s and the roller coaster ride that cancer treatment is has definitely left me more vulnerable than normal. Tears come easily now and there is a sense of sorrow that is unshakable. Time is precious and these little excursions are a great way for us to connect. I try to let go of any need to change her, as her health choices are still hard for me to accept. We are greeted by beautiful volunteers who instantly work on making us feel at home. The air is sweet and the home embraces you in it’s quaint design with a feeling of love. Mom receives a Reiki treatment and by chance (or not, because everything happens for a reason) there is a lymphedema specialist onsite that day who Mom can consult with over her newly swelling legs. She is weak and frail, her hair is all gone now and she can’t eat because of the pain in her jaw. She has aged 20 years in one year. My heart aches for her and wishes she could find peace. This suffering is not really necessary. I can’t imagine my world without her. My spirituality helps me so much and brings me peace, but in those quiet moments of fear and despair my soul gets lost.